I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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