i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
