Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
