A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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