Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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