Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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