We need to rekindle our bromance
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
