I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
