There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
