you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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