I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
