New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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