You're earring is so big in my mouth
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I need a burrito and a hug.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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