I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
