it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
