It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
