and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
They have beer where we have blood.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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