Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
