No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
