Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
