playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
