She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
