It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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