I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
