If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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