Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(619): View more from California

do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.

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(720): View more from Colorado

Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.

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(330): View more from Ohio

We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true

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(217): View more from Illinois

i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.

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(703): View more from Virginia

So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)

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(630): View more from Illinois

I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it

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(310): View more from California

True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?

Fav 6 1311 1957
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it

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(503): View more from Oregon

You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else

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