wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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