At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
There's always time for handjobs
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
