when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
