I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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