just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize