Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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