Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
