Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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