Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
