READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
