Yo dont text me then not text me
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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