It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize