it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Did I show you my penis last night?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
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