Where is the hickey?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
