It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
