Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
