I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
