Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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