Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
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