so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Even my vagina gasped.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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