just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
