i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
