The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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