guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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