Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just pynch a tree in the face
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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