My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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