He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Welp...herpes.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
