God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
