is your mom at the bar?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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