You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
