Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
