there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
