STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Ketchup is God's man juice
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Found your dick twin last night
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
