Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
