I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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