I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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