we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
