god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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