matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
