You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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