We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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