There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
