He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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