Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
