Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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