all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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