she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize