i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize