i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
