I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
