He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
