actually, I'm a sock model
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
