I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I intend to get homeless drunk
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize