is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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