One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
