every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
